Patriots Sign Stallworth
The New England Patriots have agreed to terms with free agent wide receiver Donte’ Stallworth. The deal is said to be a six year contract worth in excess of $30 million and reportedly includes a provision whereby Tom Brady has the option of impregnating Stallworth’s significant other. While it’s unclear what this news means for other Patriots wide receivers, Reche Caldwell looked slightly worried during practice today.
Simon Cowell To Quit ‘American Idol’?
‘American Idol’ judge Simon Cowell claims that he’ll leave the show if Sanjaya Malakar wins the competition. Said Cowell, “He’s not going to win. I won’t be back if he does!” While Malakar’s odds of winning appear to be slim, Cowell seems to underestimate America’s history of voting for unqualified candidates.
China Accused Of Spying On Canada
According to reports, there are as many as 1,000 Chinese economic spies operating in Canada. In an effort to curb the spying, Canadian officials have deployed their three tanks to selected Tim Hortons locations.
