The View Co-Host Doesn’t Know If The World Is Round Or Flat
If you guessed the headline was about Elisabeth Hasselbeck, you are WRONG!
The View co-host Sherri Shepherd was unable to answer the question of whether the world is round or flat, claiming that she was too busy being a good housewife to think about such complicated things. Tune in to The View tomorrow when Sherri Shepherd tries to spell her own last name, which might prove to be quite a challenge, since her imdb page lists two different spellings.
Joel Madden To Marry Nicole Richie?
Rocker Joel Madden has confirmed that he plans to marry his pregnant girlfriend Nicole Richie. Said Madden, “obviously, marriage is in our future. I don’t know when or where or how, but right now our priority is our family and is the baby. We are in love and are really happy.” Should the wedding materialize, it would surely mark the first time the groom has worn more makeup for the occasion than his bride.
Kanye West Defeats 50 Cent In Chart Battle
Kanye West has emerged the victor in the battle for sales supremacy against rival 50 Cent. West, whose album Graduation has sold one million copies since its release two weeks ago easily surpassed the monetary one’s 691 000 sales for Curtis. 50 Cent is expected to follow in the footsteps of fellow rappers Eminem and Jay-Z by retiring. And by retiring, we mean, putting out more music.
Paris Hilton Comments On Adoption Rumor
Paris Hilton shot down a story claiming she was planning to adopt four blond babies, calling the rumor “retarded,” because, obviously baby adoption is like so last year.
Talent Agency Cuts Ties With Britney Spears
In much the same way as she’s used to dropping her sons on the ground, Britney Spears has been dropped by her management company The Firm, just one month after hiring them. Luckily, Britney has put on a few pounds in recent months to cushion the fall.
Richard Gere Has A Thing For Severed Heads
Richard Gere has admitted that he used to show potential mates pictures of severed heads and body parts to see how they reacted. Not surprisingly, most of the gerbils were horrified.
Britney Loses Custody Of Children
Reports indicate that Britney Spears has temporarily lost custody of her children to ex-husband Kevin Federline which means young Preston and Jayden James finally have someone with their own mental age to play with.
Elisha Cuthbert Sex Tape To Be Released?
A sex tape featuring Elisha Cuthbert is reportedly being shopped around. Sadly, sources expect the tape to bounce around for hours on end without really showing anything of value, before finally being eaten by a mountain lion.
Chestnut Defeats Kobayashi
American Joey Chestnut defeated 6-time champion Takeru Kobayashi to capture the Nathan’s Famous hot dog eating contest title. Chestnut downed 66 hot dogs compared to 63 for Kobayashi, setting a new world record in the process. Not surprisingly, the record is expected to be contested by Paris Hilton who reportedly downed 68 wieners at a party last night.
Christina Aguilera Pregnant
E! News reports that Christina Aguilera and husband Jordan Bratman are expecting their first child. According to friends, the unborn baby plans to imitate his mother by not wearing any clothes for the foreseeable future.
Knoxville Getting Divorced
Johnny Knoxville has filed for divorce from his wife of 12 years. In related news, Knoxville’s next Jackass stunt will have him heading into divorce proceedings without the use of a lawyer.
Van Halen Tries The Tour Thing, Again
After scrapping a planned 2007 tour earlier this year, Van Halen is reportedly planning a U.S. tour that should start in September, with Wolfgang Van Halen replacing Michael Anthony and with David Lee Roth on vocals. All bets are off if Eddie Van Halen drives by a bar between now and then.
Trump Shares Plummet As Mogul Fails To Sell Casinos
Shares of Donald Trump’s company fell nearly 17 percent Monday after the real estate mogul announced that Trump Entertainment Resorts, which includes 3 casinos in Atlantic City, had failed to be sold. Trying to put a positive spin on the situation, Trump called the drop the hugest and most exciting 17 percent drop in America this year.
Isaiah Washington Fired Because Of Racism?
In a recent interview with Newsweek, former Grey’s Anatomy star Isaiah Washington claims that he was fired because his network was afraid of the presence of a strong black man on set. Washington goes on to state that his mistake was “thinking black people get second chances.” The currently unemployed Washington plans to spend the next few months golfing with O.J. Simpson and watching Cincinnati Bengals games.
Carlos Mencia’s DVD Goes Platinum
Carlos Mencia’s No Strings Attached DVD has been certified platinum. In honor of his achievement, Mencia is expected to receive a commemorative framed platinum DVD created entirely from the parts of disks belonging to all the comedians he stole his jokes from.
Boy-Band Mogul Indicted On 5 Counts
Boy-band mogul Lou Pearlman, famous for managing the early careers of ‘N Sync and the Backstreet Boys, was indicted on charges of bank as well as mail and wire fraud. Unfortunately, Pearlman has yet to be indicted on charges of unleashing ‘N Sync and the Backstreet Boys on an unsuspecting public.
Spice Girls Reunite For World Tour
The Spice Girls officially announced on Thursday that they were reuniting for a tour and releasing a greatest hits album. While the tour is expected to be sponsored by Old Spice, no decision has been made regarding Mel B changing her stage moniker to Saggy Spice.
Larry King Calls Ringo Starr “George” On Live TV
Talk show host Larry King accidentally called Ringo Starr “George” on live TV when asking a question about the death of John Lennon during last night’s interview with the surviving Beatles, Yoko Ono and Olivia Harrison. Unfortunately for CNN execs, that mistake paled in comparison to King later handing over $12 to Yoko Ono, mistakenly figuring that she was in the studio to deliver his order of General Tso’s chicken.
Oprah To Open A Store
Oprah Winfrey plans to open a store named after herself that’ll sell Oprah-themed merchandise. The store is expected to be built in Oprah Illinois near the intersection of Oprah Avenue and Oprah Street. Oprah.
