NewsNuggets

Simple views on stupid news

AP Entertainment Editor Bans Paris Hilton

The AP’s entertainment editor Jesse Washington sent a memo to staffers last week saying that, barring any major events, the AP would not run any mention of Paris Hilton on the wire. Sources close to Hilton claim that the hotel heiress will still crash the AP Wire, as she does with all big Hollywood parties for which she’s never invited.

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February 28, 2007 Posted by | Celebrities, Entertainment, Paris Hilton | Leave a comment

Boston Police Still On Edge After Lightbrite Scare

A suspicious object that was found chained to a post in Boston’s Financial District has been detonated by the police. The object in question: a bicycle.

February 28, 2007 Posted by | News, Police | Leave a comment

Madonna Upset With Daughter’s Clothes

Entertainer Madonna has told Elle Magazine that she’s worried because her daughter keeps wearing jeans that are too tight.

“My daughter is going through a phase of wearing jeans that are so tight she can’t bend her knees in them.”

Daughter Lourdes is reportedly responding well to the criticism by imitating her mother’s old habits and not wearing any pants at all.

February 28, 2007 Posted by | Celebrities, Madonna | Leave a comment

Elizabeth Taylor Turns 75

Legendary actress Elizabeth Taylor celebrated her 75th birthday on Tuesday. Rumors of a wild party have yet to be confirmed although insiders do claim that Taylor spent the night mumbling incoherently and passing out.

February 27, 2007 Posted by | Celebrities, Elizabeth Taylor | 1 Comment

New LPGA Logo Unveiled

The new LPGA logo is causing quite a stir, with many claiming that it associates the sport with an image of butch, lesbian athletes:

LPGA Logo

To combat these stereotypes, we here at NewsNuggets have come up with a proposal for a different, more feminine logo:

NewsNuggets proposed logo

February 27, 2007 Posted by | LPGA, News | 2 Comments

Bobby Brown To Remain In Jail Until Child Support Paid

A judge has ordered R & B singer Bobby Brown to remain in jail until he pays $19,000 in late child support and court fees. Brown is expected to be released in 2045.

February 27, 2007 Posted by | Bobby Brown, Celebrities | Leave a comment

Olympian Gardner Survives Small Plane Crash

Olympic wrestling champion Rulon Gardner and two Utah men were rescued by a local fisherman on Sunday, after the small plane they were flying in crashed into Lake Powell. Gardner and the two men swam to shore in freezing water and spent the night huddled together before being spotted on Sunday. This isn’t Gardner’s first brush with death. In 2002, Gardner lost a toe to frostbite after being stranded overnight in the wilderness. While training for the 2004 Olympic Games, Gardner was involved in a serious motorcycle accident and way back in third grade, he impaled himself with an arrow. Remarkably, Gardner is already back at work, planning his next activities. The Olympian expects to jump out of a plane without a parachute in 2008 and walk a tightrope across the Mount Etna volcano in 2009.

February 26, 2007 Posted by | Athletes, Rulon Gardner | Leave a comment

James Blunt Involved In Car Crash

Singer James Blunt was involved in a car crash, early Sunday morning, that left an unidentified man injured. The “You’re Beautiful” singer apparently dozed off at the wheel, while listening to his “Back to Bedlam” CD.

February 26, 2007 Posted by | Celebrities, James Blunt, Music | Leave a comment

Sony Claims Rumble In Playstation Is “A Last Generation Feature”

According to Sony’s president of worldwide studios Phil Harrison, Sony didn’t incorporate the wildly popular rumble feature into its Playstation 3 controller because the company believes that it’s a “last generation feature”. Another last generation feature for Sony: the ability to sell Playstations.

February 26, 2007 Posted by | News, Sony | 1 Comment

Sharon Stone And Basic Instinct 2 Clean Up At Razzies, Expected To Do Well At Oscars

Actress Sharon Stone and her film, “Basic Instinct 2”, swept the 27th annual Golden Raspberry Awards, or Razzies, on Saturday night. Stone and her film were victorious in four categories: worst film, worst actress, worst screenplay and worst prequel or sequel. Odds makers also expect Basic Instinct 2 to come away with the Academy Awards for Best Visual Effects and Best Makeup, in light of efforts put in by the movie crew in making Sharon Stone appear middle-aged.

February 25, 2007 Posted by | Basic Instinct 2, Celebrities, Entertainment, Sharon Stone | 1 Comment

Video Review Helps Knicks Defeat Bucks

A last second video review helped the New York Knicks defeat the Milwaukee Bucks, on Friday night. General manager Isiah Thomas immediately traded the video reviewer, the video tape of the game, a first round pick in 2012, a third round pick in 2010 and 18 million dollars to the Detroit Pistons, for forward Chris Webber.

February 25, 2007 Posted by | Athletes, Basketball, Chris Webber, Isiah Thomas, New York Knicks, Sports | Leave a comment

Photographer Beaten And Arrested By Police

A local photographer was beaten and then arrested by police, during the weekend, after allegedly refusing to stop taking pictures of the officers. Unfortunately, the case is not expected to go to court, since the only photographer around to capture the evidence on camera was being beaten by police.

February 25, 2007 Posted by | News, Police | Leave a comment

Jihadists Killed By Own Bomb

Three Islamic militants died in eastern Pakistan when a powerful bomb they were transporting exploded prematurely, Saturday, according to police. Sipah-e-Sahaba, the Sunni militant group to which the young men were affiliated, downplayed the incident. When asked about the premature explosion, a Sipah-e-Sahaba spokesperson commented by saying that “these things happen. It’s Ok. All young men go through it at one point or another. Really, it’s no big deal. It doesn’t change how we feel about the young martyrs.”

February 25, 2007 Posted by | News, Terrorism | Leave a comment

Fidel Casto On Road To Recovery

Cuban leader Fidel Castro is said to be recovering well from surgery, according to his niece. The niece’s name: The Ministry of Information of Cuba.

February 25, 2007 Posted by | Fidel Castro, News, Politics | Leave a comment

Vice President Dick Cheney’s Plane Forced To Make Emergency Landing

Vice President Dick Cheney’s plane was forced to make an emergency landing at Singapore’s Paya Lebar Air Base, after the pilot reported an electrical problem. Thankfully, Cheney’s plane was back in the air fifteen minutes later, after the Vice Presidential pacemaker had been replaced.

February 25, 2007 Posted by | Dick Cheney, Politics | Leave a comment

Michael Jackson Confirms Conversion To Islam

Michael Jackson has confirmed his conversion to Islam. The pop star is said to be immersing himself in all aspects of Muslim culture, especially those dealing with promises of 72 virgins.

February 25, 2007 Posted by | Celebrities, Entertainment, Michael Jackson, Music | Leave a comment

J. J. Abrams To Direct Next “Star Trek XI”

Alias and Lost creator, J.J. Abrams, has signed on to direct the next installment of the “Star Trek” franchise. The movie’s plot is expected to chronicle the adventures of a young James T. Kirk and Mr. Spock, on their very first mission. The picture is to include special appearances by Kalahari Bushmen, a polar bear, the little alien from Mac and Me, as well as L.A.’s very own Crazy Gideon, in an effort to stretch the feature to a running time of two hours. No rumors have surfaced thus far regarding plot details as Hollywood insiders expect the full script to be written during the actual viewing of the film by audiences.

February 25, 2007 Posted by | Alias, Celebrities, Entertainment, J.J. Abrams, Lost, Music, Star Trek | Leave a comment