A DNA test confirmed on Tuesday that Larry Birkhead has won the Anna Nicole Smith Sweepstakes. Birkhead may now claim the grand prize worth millions of dollars as well as a consolation prize featuring some sort of infant.
Singer James Brown has yet to be buried even though he’s been dead for 73 days. Legal disputes and a series of paternity claims have held up the soul legend’s burial. In related news, Anna Nicole Smith’s dead corpse was reportedly heard yelling “get on with it!”
O.J. Simpson has hinted that he knew Anna Nicole Smith pretty well before her death and could be the father of Smith’s baby girl. While observers claim that this is a just another Simpson publicity stunt, the white mothers of O.J.’s children do have a habit of dropping dead, making Simpson’s claim entirely plausible.
The 2008 presidential race has been dominating airtime for the past few weeks. Networks expect this trend to continue, unless Anna Nicole Smith dies again.
Dressed in an extravagant designer gown, Anna Nicole Smith was laid to rest on Friday. While the the Smith camp refused to comment, six designers have reportedly come forward to claim responsibility for the dress worn by the deceased.
Former Guns ‘n’ Roses and current Velvet Revolver axeman Slash attended the funeral of Anna Nicole Smith on Friday. According to reports, Slash arrived one hour late and left halfway through the ceremony, causing mourners to riot.
Anna Nicole Smith is set to be buried this morning, following a lavish pink themed funeral. Activities at the funeral will reportedly include free paternity tests for male guests, a “find the billionaire” game and a Trimspa sampling booth.