NewsNuggets

Simple views on stupid news

Wolfowitz Blames Media For Exit From World Bank

Paul Wolfowitz recently blamed the media for forcing him to resign from his post as World Bank president, after giving his girlfriend a controversial raise. In related news, Wolfowitz has scheduled a noon news conference to blame the media for the deteriorating situation in Iraq.

May 28, 2007 Posted by | Iraq, News, Paul Wolfowitz, Politics | Leave a comment

Bush Picks War Czar

President Bush has selected Lt. Gen. Douglas Lute to be the administration’s war czar, or person to oversee all military operations in Iraq and Afghanistan, or person to be blamed when military operations in Iraq and Afghanistan fail. Sadly, Lute will not wear one of those Russian fur hats, although he is expected to start drinking heavily pretty soon.

May 15, 2007 Posted by | George W. Bush, Iraq, News, Pentagon, Politics | Leave a comment

Bush Vetoes Troop Withdrawal Bill

On Tuesday evening, President Bush officially vetoed war-spending legislation calling for the start of a withdrawal of troops from Iraq. While the veto was expected, many were surprised at the amount of time it took for the decision to be announced. According to sources inside the White House, the delay was due to President Bush failing to understand that the bill did not require the signature of a man named Vito.

May 1, 2007 Posted by | George W. Bush, Iraq, News, Politics | Leave a comment

UN Chief Shaken By Blast

UN chief Ban Ki-moon was left visibly shaken following an explosion near the building where he was giving a news conference with Iraqi Prime Minister Nouri Maliki in Baghdad. Sources close to the UN chief claim that he wasn’t frightened by the blast itself but rather by the fact that UN officials actually went near a live combat zone.

March 22, 2007 Posted by | Iraq, News, Terrorism, UN | Leave a comment

Bush Adviser: Democrats’ Iraq Plans Will Lead To Failure

National Security Adviser Stephen Hadley claimed on Sunday that House Democrats will assure failure in Iraq with their plans to remove troops, as opposed to the resounding success of operations thus far.

March 18, 2007 Posted by | Iraq, News, Politics | Leave a comment

No Plan B In Place For Iraq

During a White House meeting last week with President Bush and Marine Gen. Peter Pace, chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, a group of governors came away feeling that the administration had no backup strategy, or so-called ‘Plan B’, for Iraq, in case the current strategy fails. While many question the lack of foresight on the part of the Bush administration, the Reverend Jerry Falwell lauded the White House’s position, adding that “abstinence should be the only way in the eyes of God.”

March 5, 2007 Posted by | George W. Bush, Iraq, Politics | 1 Comment