NewsNuggets

Simple views on stupid news

Bush Gives Gonzales Vote Of Confidence

In a devastating turn of events, President Bush gave Attorney General Alberto Gonzales the kiss of death, otherwise known as a strong vote of confidence. If the past is any indication, Gonzales is expected to join Brownie and Rummy at the unemployment office any day now.

April 23, 2007 Posted by | Alberto Gonzales, George W. Bush, News, Politics | Leave a comment

Gitmo Lawyers Fearful Of Repercussions

Military defense lawyers at the Guantanamo Bay prison are afraid that their work on behalf of terrorism suspects might have serious repercussions on their careers. In related news, Attorney General Alberto Gonzales was scheduled to officially shoot down those rumors but had to be called back to his office for last minute paper shredding sessions.

March 24, 2007 Posted by | Alberto Gonzales, News, Politics | Leave a comment

Attorney General Acknowledges That FBI Broke The Law

Attorney General Alberto Gonzales acknowledged Friday the FBI broke the law to secretly extract personal information about Americans. Gonzales apologized and vowed to prevent further illegal intrusions. We here at NewsNuggets would also like to apologize for holding up three banks and killing twelve puppies. We vow to prevent further errors in judgment on our part, kthxbye.

March 9, 2007 Posted by | Alberto Gonzales, FBI, News, Politics | Leave a comment