NewsNuggets

Simple views on stupid news

Hillary Selects Celine Dion Tune As Her Campaign Song

Following a month-long web contest, the Hillary Clinton camp has selected Celine Dion’s hit “You & I” as the campaign’s official song, thereby ensuring that no man will ever vote for Hillary.

June 20, 2007 Posted by | Celebrities, Celine Dion, Entertainment, Hillary Clinton, Music, News, Politics | Leave a comment

Hillary Clinton’s Outfit Raises Eyebrows

Newly released photographs show presidential candidate Hillary Clinton sporting an outfit that could be described by some as “questionable”. In Clinton’s defense, the outfit was meant to highlight her education policy and featured a stop sign and flashing lights on the back.

April 25, 2007 Posted by | Hillary Clinton, News, Politics | 4 Comments

Edwards’ Haircuts Cost $400 Each

Financial documents revealed on Tuesday that presidential candidate John Edwards received two haircuts that cost $400 a piece. Related documents also show that Hillary Clinton spends upwards of $5000 on her haircuts, with most of that cost covering insurance policies of specially trained snake handlers.

April 17, 2007 Posted by | Hillary Clinton, John Edwards, News, Politics | Leave a comment

Hillary Clinton To Visit Rutgers

Presidential candidate Hillary Clinton plans to visit Rutgers University on Monday and meet with the women’s basketball team at the center of the Don Imus scandal, although insiders do caution that Clinton’s trip might be called off should polls show that Americans have stopped caring about the basketball team. Campaign workers were reportedly also heard commenting on the distinct possibility of Clinton meeting and defending Don Imus, should polls prove that Americans sympathize with him in the wake of his firing from CBS Radio.

April 12, 2007 Posted by | Celebrities, Don Imus, Entertainment, Hillary Clinton, Politics | Leave a comment

Obama More Popular Than Hillary On MySpace

It was revealed today that Barack Obama’s MySpace page lists 66,080 friends while rival Hillary Clinton only has 359 friends on her page. Unfortunately for Senator Obama, 16-year-old emo kids are not allowed to vote.

March 19, 2007 Posted by | Barack Obama, Hillary Clinton, News, Politics | Leave a comment

Hillary Clinton Has No Opinion On Homosexuality

When asked on Thursday whether homosexuality was immoral, Senator Hillary Clinton reportedly answered that it was for “others to conclude.” Campaign aides were quick to point out that Clinton would form a real opinion as soon as polling data on the issue was analyzed.

March 15, 2007 Posted by | Hillary Clinton, Homosexuality, News, Politics | Leave a comment

Clinton Adopts Southern Drawl In Effort To Win Votes

In an effort to garner support from African American voters in Alabama, Hillary Clinton debuted what many are calling a fake southern accent. While the Clinton camp strongly denied the accusation, campaign aides were reportedly seen highlighting passages from the new book ‘Ebonics For Dummies’ and ironing a ‘Scarface’ t-shirt in preparation of Clinton’s scheduled trip to South Central L.A. next week.

March 5, 2007 Posted by | Hillary Clinton, Politics | 6 Comments