NewsNuggets

Simple views on stupid news

Students Hand Bush Letter Urging Ban On Torture

During a meeting with a group of students from the Presidential Scholars program, President Bush was handed a letter signed by 50 of the students urging him to halt the torture of terror suspects.

Why do students hate America and freedom and probably baseball too?

June 26, 2007 Posted by | George W. Bush, News, Politics, Terrorism | Leave a comment

UN Chief Shaken By Blast

UN chief Ban Ki-moon was left visibly shaken following an explosion near the building where he was giving a news conference with Iraqi Prime Minister Nouri Maliki in Baghdad. Sources close to the UN chief claim that he wasn’t frightened by the blast itself but rather by the fact that UN officials actually went near a live combat zone.

March 22, 2007 Posted by | Iraq, News, Terrorism, UN | Leave a comment

Extremists Signing Up As School Bus Drivers

According to counterrorism officials, several suspected members of extremist groups have signed up as school bus drivers in the United States. An FBI spokesman was quick to point out that “parents and children have nothing to fear, except fear itself, and all those guys yelling death to America before shifting into third gear.”

March 16, 2007 Posted by | News, Terrorism | Leave a comment

Brandon Rogers Booted From ‘American Idol’

In a surprising turn of events, Brandon Rogers became the first American Idol finalist to be voted off this week while most were expecting Sanjaya Malakar to be the first casualty of the show. Reports from Guantanamo Bay indicate that Khalid Sheikh Mohammed has claimed responsibility for Rogers’ early exit.

March 16, 2007 Posted by | American Idol, Celebrities, Entertainment, Khalid Sheikh Mohammed, News, Terrorism | Leave a comment

Bin Laden Turns 50

Osama bin Laden turned 50 on Saturday. Friends and followers from across the world are planning an explosive celebration to mark the occasion. No word yet on specifics, although crowded markets, buses and police stations will reportedly be involved.

March 10, 2007 Posted by | News, Osama bin Laden, Terrorism | Leave a comment

New Leads In Search For Bin Laden

The CIA claims to have fresh leads in the hunt for al-Qaeda chief Osama bin Laden. While some argue that bin Laden is hiding somewhere in northern Pakistan, CIA intelligence reportedly has him holding a candlestick in either the conservatory or billiard room.

March 6, 2007 Posted by | News, Osama bin Laden, Terrorism | Leave a comment

Jihadists Killed By Own Bomb

Three Islamic militants died in eastern Pakistan when a powerful bomb they were transporting exploded prematurely, Saturday, according to police. Sipah-e-Sahaba, the Sunni militant group to which the young men were affiliated, downplayed the incident. When asked about the premature explosion, a Sipah-e-Sahaba spokesperson commented by saying that “these things happen. It’s Ok. All young men go through it at one point or another. Really, it’s no big deal. It doesn’t change how we feel about the young martyrs.”

February 25, 2007 Posted by | News, Terrorism | Leave a comment