Why do students hate America and freedom and probably baseball too?
UN chief Ban Ki-moon was left visibly shaken following an explosion near the building where he was giving a news conference with Iraqi Prime Minister Nouri Maliki in Baghdad. Sources close to the UN chief claim that he wasn’t frightened by the blast itself but rather by the fact that UN officials actually went near a live combat zone.
According to counterrorism officials, several suspected members of extremist groups have signed up as school bus drivers in the United States. An FBI spokesman was quick to point out that “parents and children have nothing to fear, except fear itself, and all those guys yelling death to America before shifting into third gear.”
In a surprising turn of events, Brandon Rogers became the first American Idol finalist to be voted off this week while most were expecting Sanjaya Malakar to be the first casualty of the show. Reports from Guantanamo Bay indicate that Khalid Sheikh Mohammed has claimed responsibility for Rogers’ early exit.
Osama bin Laden turned 50 on Saturday. Friends and followers from across the world are planning an explosive celebration to mark the occasion. No word yet on specifics, although crowded markets, buses and police stations will reportedly be involved.
The CIA claims to have fresh leads in the hunt for al-Qaeda chief Osama bin Laden. While some argue that bin Laden is hiding somewhere in northern Pakistan, CIA intelligence reportedly has him holding a candlestick in either the conservatory or billiard room.
Three Islamic militants died in eastern Pakistan when a powerful bomb they were transporting exploded prematurely, Saturday, according to police. Sipah-e-Sahaba, the Sunni militant group to which the young men were affiliated, downplayed the incident. When asked about the premature explosion, a Sipah-e-Sahaba spokesperson commented by saying that “these things happen. It’s Ok. All young men go through it at one point or another. Really, it’s no big deal. It doesn’t change how we feel about the young martyrs.”