Cowell Tries To Spin Annoyed Look

American Idol judge Simon Cowell denied accusations that he disrespected the victims of the Virginia Tech shootings by rolling his eyes after contestant Chris Richardson expressed sadness over the incident. Said Cowell, “I was saying to Paula, `What does he mean, he sang nasally on purpose?’ […] Then my eye rolled, given what I was saying to Paula.”

We don’t mean to be rude but that excuse was just dreadful.

Sanjaya Named Girl Of The Day By Maxim

After demolishing the competition for the past few weeks on American Idol, contestant Sanjaya Malakar has been named Maxim’s Girl of the Day. Malakar is expected to parlay his recent momentum into a Miss Teen America entry.

‘Idol’ Producer Has Strange Excuse For Ratings Slump

During a press conference earlier in the week, ‘American Idol‘ producer Nigel Lythgoe blamed the dip in total AI viewers this season on Daylight Saving Time, the process by which viewers realize that they can save lots of free time by ceasing to watch a glorified karaoke competition.

Brandon Rogers Booted From ‘American Idol’

In a surprising turn of events, Brandon Rogers became the first American Idol finalist to be voted off this week while most were expecting Sanjaya Malakar to be the first casualty of the show. Reports from Guantanamo Bay indicate that Khalid Sheikh Mohammed has claimed responsibility for Rogers’ early exit.

Simon Cowell To Quit ‘American Idol’?

‘American Idol’ judge Simon Cowell claims that he’ll leave the show if Sanjaya Malakar wins the competition. Said Cowell, “He’s not going to win. I won’t be back if he does!” While Malakar’s odds of winning appear to be slim, Cowell seems to underestimate America’s history of voting for unqualified candidates.

Rosie O’Donnell Calls ‘American Idol’ Racist

On todays episode of The View, host Rosie O’Donnell slammed ‘American Idol’ for allegedly being racist and also discriminating against fat people. The outspoken host then proceeded to translate her comments for The View’s Chinese viewers. Said O’Donnell, “American Idol ching chong chaing ching tong chin chow.”