The View Co-Host Doesn’t Know If The World Is Round Or Flat

If you guessed the headline was about Elisabeth Hasselbeck, you are WRONG!

The View co-host Sherri Shepherd was unable to answer the question of whether the world is round or flat, claiming that she was too busy being a good housewife to think about such complicated things. Tune in to The View tomorrow when Sherri Shepherd tries to spell her own last name, which might prove to be quite a challenge, since her imdb page lists two different spellings.

Joel Madden To Marry Nicole Richie?

Rocker Joel Madden has confirmed that he plans to marry his pregnant girlfriend Nicole Richie. Said Madden, “obviously, marriage is in our future. I don’t know when or where or how, but right now our priority is our family and is the baby. We are in love and are really happy.” Should the wedding materialize, it would surely mark the first time the groom has worn more makeup for the occasion than his bride.

Kanye West Defeats 50 Cent In Chart Battle

Kanye West has emerged the victor in the battle for sales supremacy against rival 50 Cent. West, whose album Graduation has sold one million copies since its release two weeks ago easily surpassed the monetary one’s 691 000 sales for Curtis. 50 Cent is expected to follow in the footsteps of fellow rappers Eminem and Jay-Z by retiring. And by retiring, we mean, putting out more music.

Paris Hilton Comments On Adoption Rumor

Paris Hilton shot down a story claiming she was planning to adopt four blond babies, calling the rumor “retarded,” because, obviously baby adoption is like so last year.

Barry Manilow Cancels View Appearance

Barry Manilow has pulled out of a scheduled appearance on The View because of his dislike for co-host Elisabeth Hasselbeck, even going so far as to call her “dangerous and offensive,” which pretty much describes how most people feel about Barry Manilow’s nose. And music. Don’t forget his music.

Talent Agency Cuts Ties With Britney Spears

In much the same way as she’s used to dropping her sons on the ground, Britney Spears has been dropped by her management company The Firm, just one month after hiring them. Luckily, Britney has put on a few pounds in recent months to cushion the fall.

Richard Gere Has A Thing For Severed Heads

Richard Gere has admitted that he used to show potential mates pictures of severed heads and body parts to see how they reacted. Not surprisingly, most of the gerbils were horrified.

Britney Loses Custody Of Children

Reports indicate that Britney Spears has temporarily lost custody of her children to ex-husband Kevin Federline which means young Preston and Jayden James finally have someone with their own mental age to play with.

The Sopranos Win Emmy For Best Dramatic TV Series

The Sopranos capped off their television run with an Emmy as best dramatic series for the final season of the

Elisha Cuthbert Sex Tape To Be Released?

A sex tape featuring Elisha Cuthbert is reportedly being shopped around. Sadly, sources expect the tape to bounce around for hours on end without really showing anything of value, before finally being eaten by a mountain lion.

Chestnut Defeats Kobayashi

American Joey Chestnut defeated 6-time champion Takeru Kobayashi to capture the Nathan’s Famous hot dog eating contest title. Chestnut downed 66 hot dogs compared to 63 for Kobayashi, setting a new world record in the process. Not surprisingly, the record is expected to be contested by Paris Hilton who reportedly downed 68 wieners at a party last night.

Christina Aguilera Pregnant

E! News reports that Christina Aguilera and husband Jordan Bratman are expecting their first child. According to friends, the unborn baby plans to imitate his mother by not wearing any clothes for the foreseeable future.

Knoxville Getting Divorced

Johnny Knoxville has filed for divorce from his wife of 12 years. In related news, Knoxville’s next Jackass stunt will have him heading into divorce proceedings without the use of a lawyer.

Van Halen Tries The Tour Thing, Again

After scrapping a planned 2007 tour earlier this year, Van Halen is reportedly planning a U.S. tour that should start in September, with Wolfgang Van Halen replacing Michael Anthony and with David Lee Roth on vocals. All bets are off if Eddie Van Halen drives by a bar between now and then.

Trump Shares Plummet As Mogul Fails To Sell Casinos

Shares of Donald Trump’s company fell nearly 17 percent Monday after the real estate mogul announced that Trump Entertainment Resorts, which includes 3 casinos in Atlantic City, had failed to be sold. Trying to put a positive spin on the situation, Trump called the drop the hugest and most exciting 17 percent drop in America this year.

Kiss To Release Second Kissology DVD Series

Rock band Kiss has announced that the second volume in the Kiss: Kissology DVD box set will be released on August 14, to coincide with the launch of the Kiss mouthwash, the Kiss radiator and the Kiss colonoscopy kit.

Isaiah Washington Fired Because Of Racism?

In a recent interview with Newsweek, former Grey’s Anatomy star Isaiah Washington claims that he was fired because his network was afraid of the presence of a strong black man on set. Washington goes on to state that his mistake was “thinking black people get second chances.” The currently unemployed Washington plans to spend the next few months golfing with O.J. Simpson and watching Cincinnati Bengals games.

Carlos Mencia’s DVD Goes Platinum

Carlos Mencia’s No Strings Attached DVD has been certified platinum. In honor of his achievement, Mencia is expected to receive a commemorative framed platinum DVD created entirely from the parts of disks belonging to all the comedians he stole his jokes from.

Benoit’s Wikipedia Editor Confesses

The person who posted information on Wikipedia relating to the death of Chris Benoit‘s wife hours before the bodies were discovered has come forward and admitted that the whole thing was just a freak coincidence. Another freak coincidence: 60 wrestlers dropping dead before the age of 65 since 1985.

Benoit Wikipedia Entry Revealed Wife’s Death Hours Before Police Discovery

Wrestler Chris Benoit’s Wikipedia entry was reportedly altered to include a mention of his wife’s death hours before police discovered the three bodies at his home. According to Wikipedia logs, the changes originated from Stamford Connecticut, home of World Wrestling Entertainment proving once and for all that everything in pro wrestling really is scripted.